Friday, November 04, 2005

Ten non-policy reasons why it is inevitable that I will vote for Jerry Kilgore

There was never any doubt that I will vote for Jerry Kilgore, for reasons like these:

10. When I was a law clerk, Jerry was the resident assistant prosecutor, and he tried the first federal criminal case I ever saw. During that year, the courthouse gang had a birthday party for Jerry, and a dancing gorilla in a bikini was there.
9. Years ago, I had a meeting with Jerry's mom, and she made me laugh. Years later, my wife met Terry Kilgore, and he made her laugh. Virginia, like the Kilgore family, needs a good straight man.
8. Like Jerry, my aunt Lois went to Clinch Valley. So did my friend Will. And my cousin Samatha. My grandma's friend Joe Smiddy was the head man there. I root for all CVC grads.
7. I too was a too-skinny, bookish kid on the high school football team.
6. Some say Jerry never did any work to speak of down on the farm, and neither did I, despite ample opportunities. Even so, I like the look and smell of a Southwest Virginia farm. Virginia needs a governor who knows that fall smells like tobacco hanging in the barn, even if someone else hung it.
5. Jerry was the attorney general. I like to think about attorney general stuff. His office won reversals of fortune (at least in part) against all odds in two famous First Amendment cases before the U.S. Supreme Court, the cross-burning case and the public housing trespass case. Now, those were interesting cases.
4. Jerry gets excited on the Virginia Cavalier post-game show. I'm surprised Waldo never got hold of an audio clip of Jerry talking football with Mac McDonald.
3. I had a Southwest Virginia accent once. I might have one now.
2. We went to the same law school, America's oldest, and a good place. Ask Dawn Figueiras. Or Don McGlothlin. Or Mickey McGlothlin. There ought to be a William & Mary grad sworn in at the inauguration in Williamsburg.
1. My Democrat friends from Scott County always beat me at golf.

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